Choices
by MagicSwede1965
Summary: Is it possible to turn an old crush into real love? A young man gambles everything on the chance. Follows 'Memories and Legacies'.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _Just as a reminder to myself, the usual disclaimer—Roarke and Tattoo belong to Aaron Spelling, Leonard Goldberg and Gene Levitt; I am borrowing their characters solely for the sheer joy of writing about them. Thanks again to them. Also, thanks are due to my friend Chinatsu for the Japanese phrases; any errors with regard to the use of the translations are mine alone. Oh yeah…seems my in-joke in the previous story was a tad too subtle. Here's a hint: Mr. Roarke's alter ego always claimed he wasn't a singer! (If you can figure it out, post a review with the answer.)_

* * *

§ § § -- August 31, 1995

It had been only six weeks since Tattoo's funeral and there was still a lurking sadness in Roarke's and Leslie's eyes, though the worst of their grief had worn itself out by now. It had helped that they had immediately set about building a small museum in Tattoo's memory, showcasing his paintings. After a lot of deliberation, they had set it about 500 yards down the Ring Road from the Japanese garden and teahouse. Once construction was under way, they had gone every day to check on its progress, and now the building was open to all visitors and had been dedicated just the previous day. Carved into the marble façade over the entrance were the words FANTASY ISLAND ART MUSEUM, and mounted just inside the doorway was a bronze plaque Roarke and Leslie had commissioned which bore a bas-relief portrait of Tattoo as he had looked when he was Roarke's assistant. Beneath the portrait was the following legend:

_DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF TATTOO_

_VALUED ASSISTANT_

_EXTRAORDINARY ARTIST_

_CHERISHED FRIEND_

Within the building was a display of works by Tattoo; Roarke and Leslie had collected all those that weren't on display in the main house and brought them here for all to see. This included the paintings that Russell St. Anthony had bequeathed to them almost four years before; all of the unsold works that had been in Tattoo's art gallery as of the day he had died; and the full contents of his glass-walled studio outside Paris. Solange had seen to the shipping of the latter two sets of works. Among those that had been in the studio was a nearly-finished canvas that Tattoo had been forced to abandon just days before his passing, depicting his three children playing in the backyard. Some of the background hadn't been filled in and Tattoo's signature was missing from the painting, but Roarke and Leslie had hung it anyway and seen to it that a small bronze plate was attached to the frame, stating simply, "Tattoo's Final Masterpiece."

With their memorial to Tattoo completed, Roarke and Leslie set about getting on with their own lives. "That," Roarke had told his daughter, "will be one of our best tributes to Tattoo: to go on living the fullest lives we can, even as we remember him." Leslie had agreed, understanding that she had managed to get on with her life after the losses of her grandmother, her mother and sisters, and Teppo, and that now she must do the same in the wake of Tattoo's death. However, Roarke had noticed that she'd become slightly clingy of late, and knew that only time would temper this tendency.

Now summer was nearing its unofficial end, and this Saturday morning Roarke had just sent Leslie to help get one of the fantasies under way when there came a knock on the door. Roarke hadn't been expecting anyone, but it wasn't at all unusual for guests to come calling if they had questions or problems. "Come in," he called without looking up from his date book, which showed the month of November.

The door opened and someone cleared his throat nervously; Roarke looked up and was very surprised indeed to see Hachiro Tokita, nicknamed "Toki", standing in the foyer. "Come in, Toki," he said. "What can I do for you?"

Toki stepped into the room, glancing questioningly around. "Is Leslie here?"

"No, she is attending to a fantasy," Roarke said, gesturing at a chair. "So you are back for a visit, then?"

"Sort of," Toki said, lowering himself into one of the chairs and meeting Roarke's gaze with a hesitancy that suggested he was carrying many secrets. "Actually…I'm here to see if you could grant me a fantasy."

Very curious, Roarke leaned forward. "What fantasy would that be?"

Toki hesitated again, started to speak and caught himself, glanced away and scratched the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. Finally he sighed, as if having decided to get it over with. "Can you make Leslie fall in love with me?"

Roarke stared at him. "Did I hear that correctly?" he asked at last.

Toki nodded. "Yeah, I know it's stupid," he said, "but you gotta understand something, Mr. Roarke. I've been half in love with Leslie almost ever since she first came to the island. It hit me like hell to find out she got married, and I thought when she was widowed and came back, maybe I'd have a chance."

Roarke's gaze grew stern. "Surely you realize that people's emotions cannot be controlled in such a fashion—not even by me."

Toki looked stunned. "Are you serious? But you can do anything!"

"I have my limits," Roarke said quietly. "However, even if I were capable of such a thing, I would never exercise the ability. It's an issue of ethics. Furthermore, Leslie knows her own mind and doesn't hesitate to make that very clear. And it's always been my understanding that you and she don't get along."

"That's my fault," Toki said, turning bright red. "I wasn't exactly the kind of guy she would've been attracted to, I suppose. But I'm free and she's free, and I just wanted one more chance to show her how I really feel about her. Please, Mr. Roarke…" He reached into his pocket, dug out his wallet and withdrew a folded check, which he pushed across the desk at Roarke. "If you want more, I'll pay it gladly, but I've been obsessed with this idea for a long time, and I just can't wait any longer."

Roarke ignored the check, focusing on Toki with a highly guarded expression. "This is not the kind of fantasy in which I can merely wave my hand, or tap you or my daughter with a magic wand, and decree that for one weekend she will be in love with you. Even fantasies have their limits, Toki. And I don't believe it's possible for me to grant this one."

Toki looked desperate. "There has to be a way," he insisted.

Roarke softened slightly, but there was pity in his dark eyes. He picked up the check and offered it to Toki. "Take this back," he said gently, "and take some time to think this over very carefully. I don't believe you fully realize what you are asking of me." He sat back and smiled a little. "Did you come directly here from the plane dock?"

Toki nodded and shrugged. "Yeah."

"Why don't you pay a visit to your family," Roarke suggested. "I'm sure they will be very happy to see you. If you still wish to go through with your request, then come back this afternoon around three…but I insist that you give some serious thought to exactly what it is you ask of me."

Toki picked up the check and slowly replaced it in his wallet, then stood up, looking at Roarke all the while with an expression of betrayal and bewilderment on his features. "I thought you could help me," he said, shaking his head.

"Think about it," Roarke reiterated and smiled apologetically. "If you'd excuse me, I'm afraid I have a great deal of work awaiting me."

Toki slowly shuffled out, a defeated aura about him, and Roarke watched him go with a slight frown. All through her teen years, Leslie had had problems with Toki Tokita and had made it very plain that she just didn't like him. She had good reason; Toki had often teased her in those days, and even now she avoided him at all costs. Roarke sensed that the young man still had quite a bit of maturing to do, and knew full well that if he sought out Leslie, there would be some very noisy fireworks.


	2. Chapter 2

§ § § -- August 31, 1995

By rote Toki found the shortest path to his childhood home and shuffled along it, trying to understand Roarke's rejection of his fantasy. His life thus far hadn't exactly been fraught with accomplishment. He was thirty-one years old, and had been born and raised on Fantasy Island as the middle child of Japanese-immigrant parents. Toki had never been clear on why they had left Japan to seek refuge on the island; he knew Roarke had strict immigration rules, and he sometimes devoted some thought to wondering what had compelled his parents to transport their lives to Fantasy Island.

Toki wasn't much of an achiever in fact, and he was uncomfortably aware of this, but had no idea how to change it. Thinking about it, he realized he'd probably had it too good for too long. Not only was he not the oldest child, he wasn't even the oldest son. His three sisters had been held to higher standards, particularly Kayoko, the oldest of them; and much had also been expected of his older brother, Saburo, because Saburo was the firstborn child in the family. Michiko and Reiko had in turn been held up to higher standards than he, merely because they were girls. So as a male and the younger of the two sons, he had had far more leeway than his siblings, and had taken advantage of it. His parents had always seemed quietly disapproving, but they had never come out and taken him to task, as if they had expected it of him.

He disliked coming back home these days, because his mother and father had been very upset by his divorce from Myeko Sensei and his subsequent move to Hawaii for an excellent job. He still had to live frugally, of course, since Hawaii was an expensive place and he had to send Myeko child support; but he had no real responsibilities, and he hated being made to feel guilty about it. Couldn't a guy have a life of his own? But every time he came back to visit, his parents made certain he knew they were very disappointed in him.

Which brought him back to his fantasy. He'd had a crush on Leslie almost from the time she first came to the island. To be sure, it hadn't started out that way. Like his family, he had seen the photo and newspaper article that had come out a few days after her arrival; there had been an interview with her, with Roarke and Tattoo in attendance, in which she had explained how she had come to be Roarke's ward. He remembered feeling a little sorry for the orphaned girl, but hadn't given the article another thought till his sister Michiko had become friends with Leslie and made her part of the crowd she hung out with. After that he had started seeing quite a bit of Leslie, every time Michiko had her friends over, and he had been amazed at his own reaction to her. The black-and-white photo in the newspaper hadn't been very good, so when he'd gotten his first look at Leslie Hamilton in person, he had been very impressed.

Unfortunately, he'd botched things up with her after having seen her only a few times. Before Leslie had lived on Fantasy Island a full month, he had gone to Michiko to ask about her, feeling stupid but convinced he had little choice. "What's that new girl like?" he had asked her, trying to come across as diffident.

Michiko peered at him in confusion. "What? Oh…you mean Leslie? She's very nice, kind of timid, but that's to be expected since she's so new. Why?"

"Just wondering," Toki had mumbled.

But Michiko had seen right through him. "Don't tell me," she said, her almond eyes going wide. "You like her, Toki, don't you?"

"Don't tell her," Toki snapped. "You girls, all you do is giggle and wrinkle your noses and try to act cute. If you tell Leslie anything, Michiko, you'll be sorry, I guarantee it."

Michiko rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, Toki, don't be so stupid. Even if I did tell her, I don't think she'd believe me. She doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself, and she's still trying to adjust to her new life here with Mr. Roarke. And Camille said something nasty about how she must be in good with the owner of Fantasy Island, and poor Leslie went right over the edge. Give her some time to settle in and get used to things, and maybe adjust a little more to losing her family, before you tell her you've got a crush on her."

Toki scowled; Michiko, perceptive and empathetic, had hit a nerve, and he hated to admit it. "Geez, sorry I asked," he grumbled and left. He had decided that his sister had no idea what she was talking about; and the next day in school, he'd somehow managed to corner Leslie to declare himself. Even now the memory made him cringe.

"Say, Leslie…could I talk to you a minute?" he'd asked, finding her at her locker trying to get its temperamental combination lock to work properly.

Distracted and slightly frustrated by her fruitless efforts, she looked at him in surprise. "I guess so. What's up?"

"Well, I, uh…I was just wondering if maybe you felt like hitting the beach with me sometime," he said. "Unless Mr. Roarke keeps you too busy. I mean, I heard he can be really strict. Does he make you live by a lot of rules?"

She stared at him, a completely perplexed expression on her face. "Rules? No, not any more than anybody else might," she said slowly. "But I don't know if I'd have enough free time. I mean, see, I sort of help Mr. Roarke out on the weekends. It's all go-fer stuff and like that, but I don't want to welch out on him or anything."

Toki squinted at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding? You'd rather work on the weekend instead of hanging out with your friends or something? You must be nuts!"

"It doesn't feel like work," Leslie said, her voice going from perplexed to defensive. "I think it's fun. And anyway, what kind of stupid thing is that to say, telling me I'm crazy?"

"I just don't get it, choosing a job over having a good time," Toki said, shrugging. "Are you looking to be his new assistant or something? He never needed more than one, but now you've come here to live with him and he feels like he has to give you something to do, is that it? Geez, isn't schoolwork enough?"

Leslie, who in between her replies to him had been dialing her combination and still getting no results, finally banged a fist on the locker door, which perversely popped open. "Leave me alone, Toki," she snapped, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm the one who owes Mr. Roarke, not the other way around. He helped me out when I first came here and he's giving me a home till I'm of age, so I owe him everything. I'm trying to pay him back a little at a time. If all you can do is stand around and insult me and Mr. Roarke, then you can just get lost, and stay that way!" With that, she turned away from him and studiously began to rummage around inside her locker. Toki, forced to admit defeat, slunk away, still trying to figure out what would make her choose work over the beach on a weekend.

Today he could comprehend her rationale a bit better. He hadn't known her then as he did now; his knowledge had a lot to do with the fact that he'd occasionally listened in on his sister's phone conversations with Leslie and sometimes eavesdropped on the girls when they'd all gathered at the Tokita home. He'd definitely been an insensitive clod—and worse, he had continued to be one all the way through high school, because he'd felt so hurt and rejected that first time that he decided he needed to pay her back for it. Michiko had usually taken Leslie's side in their enmity, and now that he was an adult, he could understand why.

He looked up and realized his ruminations had taken him all the way to his parents' house. _I guess it's time for me to face some more of their music,_ he thought glumly, _and it's gonna be the same old song. Why do I even bother coming back?_ With a heavy sigh, he let himself in the front door. "Mom, Dad? It's me, Hachiro." His parents had never called him Toki; they had been among the very few who had insisted on using his real name.

"In the kitchen, son," he heard his father call. There were several voices, some clearly belonging to children; and when Toki walked in, he found his brother Saburo, sister-in-law Kalani, and their son and daughters visiting.

"Toki, what a surprise," said Saburo, standing and reaching out to shake his brother's hand. "What brings you back?"

"Oh, just thought it was time to check in with the family," Toki mumbled vaguely, glancing around. "Hi, Kalani." Kalani smiled in greeting.

"Welcome home," said Masako Tokita with a formal nod at his younger son. Miyoshi Tokita, at the sink, turned and gave Toki a surprised smile. "How long are you here?" his father continued.

"Just till Monday morning," Toki said. "I couldn't get any extra time off work. Where's Reiko? Anyone heard from Michiko or Kayoko?"

"Reiko is at a friend's home, and we had phone calls from the other girls recently," Masako said. "Sit down, Hachiro, and try to look as if you feel at home." He raised an eyebrow as he said this, and Toki sheepishly took the only remaining empty chair. For another hour or so he let himself relax and enjoy the family gathering; as long as Saburo and his family were there, the focus was off Toki. He let his mind wander back to the fantasy Roarke had refused to grant; he was still determined to get it, one way or another.

At ten till three, he left along with Saburo and his family and retraced his steps back to the main house. Roarke was there alone, as before, and seemed resigned when Toki came inside. "Have you reconsidered your request?"

"Yes, and I still want you to do it," Toki said firmly.

Roarke studied him without moving for a long moment, just until Toki began to feel acutely uncomfortable; then he said in perplexity, "May I ask why you are so determined to have this fantasy, especially in light of its certain failure?"

Toki almost told him the truth, but quailed at the last moment and fell back on his earlier rationale. "I already mentioned it before, Mr. Roarke. I've been nuts about Leslie for years, and I just want to show her that I'm not the same guy she remembers from school."

"As I told you earlier, Leslie knows her own mind. I must warn you that there is very little, if any, chance that this fantasy can be granted. The best I can offer you is to give you the opportunity to speak with her."

"I'll take it," Toki said eagerly, pouncing on this even though he knew it was little more than a crumb. "Just tell me where and when I can meet her."

Roarke sighed, signifying defeat. "Very well, I will speak with her this evening and then notify you of the time and place."

"Fabulous," Toki said, hope exploding in him. He pushed the much-folded check over the desk at Roarke. "Thanks, Mr. Roarke, you can't imagine how much I appreciate this. It just might change my life. Thanks." He left the house before Roarke could question him any further, though he was well aware of Roarke's puzzled gaze on him as he went.

‡ ‡ ‡

After their repast on the veranda early that evening, Leslie and Roarke retreated to the study, where Roarke handed Leslie a stack of checks. "I would appreciate it if you would go through these and list them on the deposit slip," he told her. "You'll have to make the trip to the bank tomorrow, since there is far more than usual to be done on Monday."

"Okay, no problem," she agreed, unlocking the top-right drawer and removing the business checkbook belonging to Roarke's company bank account. "I'll just add the trip to the ATM to my list of stuff to do."

"Try to keep at least an hour open," Roarke said, surprising her.

"What for?" she asked, settling in one of the leather chairs and peering at him with raised eyebrows.

"I'll explain in a moment," he said. "Do that first, if you would, please."

She shrugged and began to write the check numbers and amounts on the topmost deposit slip; it didn't take long before she caught the name and address on the tenth or eleventh one in the stack. She stared at it, then looked up at Roarke. "Father…"

"Yes?" he said, looking up and giving her his full attention.

"What's Toki Tokita paying you to do?" she asked.

"Ah, so you've found it," Roarke said and sat back in his chair, sighing gently. "I'm afraid I must ask a great favor of you, Leslie. Toki came here earlier in the day insisting that I grant him a fantasy, despite my warnings that it would be all but impossible to fulfill. You are aware, I trust, that he has very strong feelings for you."

She shifted a little uneasily in her seat and looked away. "Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't know how he actually felt till I visited Michiko on Arcolos a couple of years ago. She told me then that he had a crush on me and he just didn't know how to handle it. I wasn't sure if I should believe it." Leslie finally met her father's sympathetic gaze. "I'm probably going to regret asking this…but what _is_ his fantasy?"

Roarke said, "Originally, his request was to make you fall in love with him, but I told him that would be quite impossible, not to mention morally objectionable. But he refused to let up…so I thought perhaps I could orchestrate a compromise of sorts. At least let him speak with you, Leslie. I know there's no love lost between you two, at least from your side, but it appears there is a great deal of it on his end. I have the impression he wishes to make amends at the very least." He saw her increasingly dubious expression and leaned forward, an earnest expression on his handsome features. "Give him that, Leslie, if for no other reason than to take the opportunity to make things clear to him. I can see he carries an enormous amount of false hope, and if you don't clarify your position, he can't move on, and you may find yourself with a new problem. I trust I need not spell it out to you."

"No, I see what you're getting at. If I don't tell him where he stands, he might go on thinking he has a chance with me." Leslie sighed and let her head fall back, wishing there were some other way, but fully aware there wasn't. "Okay, Father, I'll talk with him. You make the arrangements and let me know."

"Very well," said Roarke and smiled warmly at her. "I think you'll be glad you did it."

"That remains to be seen," Leslie retorted, but she smiled a bit reluctantly back, then peered at Toki's check. "Good grief," she blurted. "He paid six hundred dollars just for the chance to talk? That's a pretty expensive conversation."

Roarke laughed. "Perhaps not to Toki. Don't worry, Leslie, I'm sure you'll handle the situation just fine."


	3. Chapter 3

§ § § -- September 1, 1995

In his old bedroom in the lower level of the Tokita house, Toki stood in front of the mirror, laboring at a Windsor knot, gritting his teeth in frustration and wishing he'd paid more attention to his father's lessons in his teen years. His twenty-six-year-old sister Reiko appeared in the doorway and started to say something, then got a good look at him and let her mouth hang open in disbelief. Toki shot her an annoyed look. "Well?"

Reiko came into the room, staring at his tie. "What're you getting all dressed up for?"

"None of your business," Toki said. "Whaddaya want?"

"Just to ask if you're coming up," Reiko said, still looking amazed. "Mother isn't going to hold breakfast for you all morning, you know. Do you want any?"

"No, tell her not to bother," said Toki, whose stomach was too jumpy with anticipation to leave any room for food. He yanked apart the half-completed knot and started over, then paused and turned to fully face Reiko. "You got a problem?"

She grinned. "You need some help with that?"

"Don't be a smartass," Toki warned, and she shrugged.

"Hey, I was just offering. If you want to wrestle with that all morning, then be my guest." She started to leave, but he grabbed her arm.

"Hey, I'm sorry." Toki tried to sound contrite. "As a matter of fact, I could use a little help. I never did figure out how to tie one of these stupid things."

"Obviously you don't have to wear them to work," Reiko remarked, deftly arranging the tie into the proper formation. "What exactly do you do, anyway? The thing about that is that we shouldn't even have to ask. You've really shut yourself off from the family, Toki. You don't tell us much of anything, and you're always avoiding spending time with us whenever you do come back home. I bet you haven't even seen your own kids yet."

"You think Myeko'd let me?" Toki snorted. "To her, all I am is a source of money."

Reiko rolled her eyes. "How come you never saw how crazy Myeko always was about you? You're incredibly blind, Toki Tokita, and you couldn't care less that you are. I don't know what on earth is wrong with you. You had it all and you tossed it out the window, and for who knows what." She tightened the knot and stepped back. "Well, you're ready for whatever it is you're getting all slicked up for."

"Does that mean you'll stop asking nosy questions now?" Toki demanded.

Reiko threw her hands into the air. "Far be it from me to want to get to know my own brother better." She stalked out of the room, and just before she disappeared around the doorway, she flung over her shoulder, "You're welcome."

"Thanks," Toki grunted belatedly and sighed loudly. Reiko, he could fend off; his parents were another story, which was another reason he wanted to skip breakfast.

Unfortunately, both Masako and Miyoshi saw him as he was trying to get out the front door. "_Hachiro, doko ikuno? Asa gohan tabenaito_," said Miyoshi. She was a petite, delicate woman whose English, even after some five decades of living on English-speaking Fantasy Island, remained very limited. She spoke in Japanese at home, and all five of her children were fluent in the language. Her question about his destination and her admonition about having breakfast made him stop short in the entry hall and sigh heavily with resignation.

"Treat your mother with respect, Hachiro," Masako warned quietly. "You do need something to eat. Have you some appointment somewhere?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Toki said, turning reluctantly to face his father. "But Dad, I don't need any breakfast. I'm fine without it."

"_Chotto, kotchi kite,"_ Miyoshi requested, hands clasped in front of her and face lit with hope. _"Nagai aida, atte naidesho. Hanashi demo shiyo."_

Toki hesitated, wondering why his mother was so interested in having him stay and chat with her and his father. It was true they hadn't seen him in quite some time; but he was no more inclined to respond to her overtures now than he had ever been. _"Atode,"_ he finally said uneasily. _Maybe later._ _That is, _he amended the thought, _after I talk to Leslie. Maybe then I'll have something to say that'll really impress you for once._

Masako shook his head in weary disappointment. "Suit yourself, but you should at least visit Myeko and your children."

"Later for that too," Toki said, his discomfort growing exponentially. "This is really important, Dad, and I'm gonna be late if I don't leave now."

Masako sighed. "Then go." He turned away, head bowed; Miyoshi looked so sad that Toki bolted from the house in an attempt to outrun his conscience.

He was actually more than an hour early for the brunch Roarke had set up for him with Leslie; and after taking up space in a booth for half an hour, he realized he had to order something to keep the staff from throwing him out of the pond restaurant. So he asked for a cup of coffee and sipped at it for the next forty minutes, abandoning it when it grew stone cold halfway through. Finally, his incessant monitoring of the entrance paid off and he saw Leslie, dressed for work as on every weekend, come in and have a quick word with the maitre d'. The man gestured in Toki's direction, and he watched her take a deep breath before resolutely threading her way around tables to his booth.

"Hi, Leslie," Toki said, staring at her, belatedly remembering to stand up. "You look great. It's good to see you."

"Hi, Toki," she said a bit guardedly, though she did offer a smile. "Thanks. Well, sit down." He did, and she followed suit, he nervous and hopeful, she ill at ease. "So…Father said you want to talk with me."

"Yeah…" He swallowed thickly; the words he had wanted for so long to say to her now seemed to be stuck in his throat. Desperate, he took a swallow of the cold coffee, made a face and shoved the cup aside. It was do or die, he decided. "Listen, Leslie, first of all, I really want to apologize for all the stupid things I did to you when we were kids. I mean…I guess I really messed things up. Could you maybe forgive me?"

Leslie blinked, but nodded slowly after a moment. "I guess I can do that," she said, still wary. He sighed and dropped his head in his hand, shaking it.

"I suppose I don't blame you for not really believing me," Toki murmured, feeling his hopes deflating already. He lifted his head and stared at her, desperation gleaming in his eyes. "I know I handled it all wrong, but I was a stupid kid and I just didn't know what to do about it. I lost my chance when you married Teppo, and then I was married to Myeko…but now we're both free and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't tell you what I've really felt all these years. I've been nuts over you almost from the start, Leslie. What I'm trying to say is, I think I probably love you."

Leslie sat back in her seat, eyes wide, hand drifting to her mouth. "Oh boy," she mumbled, mostly to herself.

"I don't exactly expect you to return it—" Toki began.

"What, exactly, do you expect, then?" Leslie countered, frowning.

Toki blundered on, determined to say his piece. "I'd just like for us to be friends. We could start out that way, and who knows, maybe something would develop between us later on, and eventually things might work out…you can't imagine how many years I wished I'd treated you better. This is my one chance to make you see what I feel."

Leslie looked at her lap, then deliberately brought up her left hand and flattened it on the table. "Toki, do you see this?" she asked quietly. He focused on the gold-and-diamond ring on the third finger and felt his heart sink.

"You still wear his ring?" he asked dumbly.

Leslie nodded. "Yes, I do," she said, gentling her voice at sight of his distress. "Did you ever hear precisely how I lost my husband?"

Toki hesitated, instinctively aware he was heading into deep water. "Michiko said something about him getting killed somehow."

Leslie nodded. "It's a long story, but let me put it this way—he found himself dealing with circumstances beyond his control, and as I see it, he was brutally murdered. The point is, he died too young and too violently. It almost destroyed me, and the only thing that saved me was coming back here. Father helped me to cope in the very beginning, and I even got a chance to say goodbye to Teppo, but I was devastated. Even now I still dream about Teppo sometimes. I still miss him, Toki, and I always will. And I loved him so much that I don't think there's any room in my heart for someone else."

"But lots of people are widowed and find another person," Toki protested.

"True," she agreed, "but I'm afraid I'm not willing to take the risk. There are two problems here, Toki. Number one, Father is the only family member I have left alive. I've lost my grandmother, my mother, my sisters, my husband, and Tattoo not two months ago. It seems everyone related to me in some way, even if only by virtue of adoption, dies too soon, and I'm starting to think I'm jinxed somehow. I won't put that burden on someone else. Besides, I'm very happy now—I have Father, and my friends here, and my job, which I love and wouldn't give up for anything.

"And secondly, I'm not in love with you, Toki. I don't want to be cruel, but the honest truth of the matter is that you managed to destroy whatever chance you may have had of being anything more than friends. And even that is questionable."

"People can change," Toki said, sitting up in a surge of indignation. "You think I'm a fifteen-year-old in an adult's body, don't you? Back then I never would have apologized. At least I've come that far, you've gotta give me credit for that."

"I'll give you that, sure," she said spiritedly. "But you almost never come back to the island; you live in Hawaii now, and you don't seem inclined to return here. And you have far better reasons to do so than thinking I'd be here waiting for you. Your parents are still here, and even if you don't get on with Myeko, you do have two children here. Have you even seen the kids yet?"

Toki literally squirmed in his seat. "No," he muttered, almost inaudibly.

Leslie shook her head. "Are you telling me you were so single-minded about trying to make me return these feelings you say you have, that you neglected your family? Toki, I can't have any respect for someone like that. You have obligations to Alexander and Noelle, if no one else. I'm not sure they even know you anymore."

"Leslie, look," Toki said, unable to stand any more of what he saw as her lecturing. "I married Myeko because it was expected of me. Maybe Michiko's told you—my parents are as traditional as they come. Now I admit, I had a lot of free rein because I wasn't the first-born or the oldest son. Even so, Mom and Dad expected me to get married, and I had this half-baked notion that eventually I'd win you over and you'd be my wife. But then you got married and left the island, and there were my parents with their expectations…and there was Myeko. Yeah, yeah, I knew she had this huge crush on me. She was nice and kinda cute, and she was willing…and, well, she was there. I even got to like her enough to think I could spend my life with her, since you were so far out of reach—so I asked her to marry me. Trouble is, just liking her wasn't enough. And we disagreed on all kinds of things, including how many kids to have. She wanted just a couple, I wanted a big family. Then she wanted to go to work…and as a gossip columnist, of all things. Leslie, you see, women in my family don't work. My mother never did. My sister Kayoko never had a job—she's always devoted herself to keeping a good house and raising her daughters. Michiko married that prince and she's idle rich. And even Reiko isn't working. She's seeing someone, but she's the youngest and Mom and Dad are giving her more time to decide if she wants to get married. In the meantime, they're supporting her till she does. Kalani's the only one who works, but Saburo was willing to compromise on that, since she was happy to let him have his way in everything else. So I didn't expect Myeko to go to work either."

"Times are different, Toki," Leslie said. "A lot of women want to work."

He shrugged. "Yeah, well, that's great for them, but in this family, the man is the breadwinner, period. She really bruised my ego when she announced she wanted to get a job. And damn it, she was five months pregnant when she said that, too! Why would a woman choose to work over staying home with her baby?"

"Some women don't have that choice," Leslie said quietly. "Myeko doesn't now."

Toki slashed the air with one hand in an angry, dismissive motion. "Well, she did then, and she still wanted to work. I told her she didn't have to—I had just gotten this job in Hawaii that paid three times what I was making at the casino, and I could support us in style and we could give Alexander and Noelle everything. But she went ballistic at the whole idea of leaving Fantasy Island. I had no choice, Leslie. If she hadn't marched off and asked Mr. Roarke about getting a divorce, I would have."

She sat back again and regarded him expressionlessly. "Did you ever really listen to what she wanted?" she asked.

"I couldn't get her to see my point of view. She just plain wouldn't leave here," Toki said, frustrated. "Leslie, believe me, it's better this way anyway. Her refusal to leave the island was just a convenient excuse. I wasn't in love with her anyway, and I didn't see the point in continuing the farce—so when she said she wanted a divorce, I agreed."

Leslie smiled faintly with some memory. "Well, Myeko _is_ pretty headstrong, I'll be one of the first to admit that. She had at least as many complaints about you as you do about her, if not more. For someone who'd been head over heels about you for such a long time, she sure aired a lot of grief over you. But you sound to me as if you didn't really want to consider her side of things either, and the two of you got stuck at an impasse."

"I can't do anything about that now," Toki said. "I'm not even sure she'll let me see Alexander and Noelle. I barely know Noelle, for that matter. I'm a total stranger to her."

"There you are—another argument for being a more frequent presence in your children's lives," Leslie said, turning her palms skyward. "Besides…not to shock you even more, but she's been seriously seeing the sheriff, and Alexander and Noelle both call him Daddy." She compressed her lips sympathetically when he stared at her in disbelief. "Toki, I think you're better off expending your energies on rebuilding your relationship with your kids. I think if you try to meet Myeko halfway, she'd be willing to work with you on visitation issues. But if you present a façade of not caring, and feeling obligated…"

"I just thought you could be at my side when I…" he mumbled helplessly.

"Oh geez, Toki, how do you think that'd look? My lack of feelings for you aside, she'd think I'm some kind of traitor. I've always been friends with Myeko, and—well, maybe not outright enemies with you, but definitely antagonistic. Where do you think I'm going to put my loyalties?" Leslie leaned forward again. "Toki, I'm sorry, but it's not going to magically work out the way you wish it would, no matter whether you're on Fantasy Island or not. Some things are beyond even Father's capabilities."

"He said that," Toki remembered unhappily.

"You should have listened," Leslie said. "There's no manipulating people's feelings. It's possible to change someone's point of view, but you have to work at it, and they have to be willing to change it. Do yourself a favor, Toki, and stop trying to reach out for what you can't have. Concentrate on what you've already got, or you're going to lose it, and then you'll have nothing at all. And that'll be one incredibly lonely existence, if that's the choice you make. You really should think about it, but I recommend at the very least that you go see Alexander and Noelle before you go back to Hawaii." She tipped her wrist and noted the time. "Father gave me an hour and I've already exceeded that by a good ten minutes. I've got to go. Tell your mother and father I said hello." She got up and swiftly departed; Toki watched her leave, feeling as if his very last hope had just drained away, yet knowing deep within him that she was right. He waved a waiter over and ordered a meal, figuring that as long as he had some choices to make, he might as well do it over lunch.


	4. Chapter 4

§ § § -- September 1, 1995

Late in the afternoon, with the sun low in the sky and painting pale-orange stripes on the floor through the shutters of the study in the main house, the door opened and several people came in: Myeko, Camille, and Reiko Tokita. "Hi, everyone," Leslie said with a welcoming, if questioning, smile.

"We're not interrupting anything, are we?" Reiko asked.

"No, Father's out at the moment. Sit down. What's up?" Leslie got up from the desk and came around front to half lean, half sit on it.

Reiko looked a bit distressed. "Toki's left, Leslie. He didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone—he just left a note. Poor Mother's in tears, and my father's furious at Toki for his treatment of her. I can't figure out what his problem is."

"He never even came to see the kids," Myeko broke in, eyes flashing with outrage. "Do you believe the nerve of him?"

"Hate to say it, but I do," Leslie admitted wryly, shaking her head to herself. _So my advice obviously fell on deaf ears._ "I'm sorry, Myeko."

"Mother just wanted to talk to him," Reiko exclaimed indignantly. "But all he said in the note was that he needed to get back to work before he got fired, and to pass on his good wishes to Alexander and Noelle."

"Good wishes aren't going to get the kids new clothes," Myeko spat. "His child-support check's late again. Leslie, I'm so mad I could strangle him. How can he be so cold to his own family? All that matters to him is that stupid job of his. What on earth could be so wonderful about it that he puts it above his parents and his children?"

"He's making loads of money, for one thing," Camille said thoughtfully. "Last time Tommy called, he said Toki's doing a really great job and he's thinking about giving him a raise when his next review comes around."

Reiko, Myeko and Leslie stared at her. _"What?"_ Reiko blurted.

"Does he work for Tommy?" Leslie asked, astonished.

Camille looked taken aback, shifting her surprised gaze from one face to another. "You mean you didn't know? Tommy hired Toki as his vice president of operations. He says the guy's a natural."

"If he's making so much money, then why is his check late this month?" Myeko demanded in frustration. "I swear, I'm going to fly to Honolulu and kill him myself. I don't care if Clark throws me in jail for the next four hundred years. The jerk deserves to die a slow and grisly death."

Leslie suppressed a smile; Camille wasn't quite so tactful. Reiko sighed. "I'd join you, if I didn't know for a fact that Mother and Father would disown me."

Leslie pushed herself off the desk and went to a drawer while her friends and Reiko watched curiously, pulling it open and withdrawing a battered-looking check. "Myeko, I think you need this much more than we do. I'm going to cash it at the bank tomorrow and then I'll give you the proceeds."

"What is it?" Myeko asked.

"Toki evidently had a fantasy of sorts," Leslie said ruefully. "He came in yesterday to see Father about talking to me, and I guess he thought the only way he could make it happen was to have it granted to him as a fantasy."

Myeko peered at her curiously. "Really? Did you talk to him?"

Leslie nodded. "Reluctantly, but yes. He had the crazy idea that, with him divorced and me widowed, he and I could get together. I set him straight on that one in a hurry. I also told him a few home truths, but it sounds to me like he wasn't ready to face up to them just yet." While Myeko contemplated this, Leslie turned to Reiko. "So Toki never tells you or the rest of your family anything about his life these days?"

"Nothing," Reiko confirmed. "He's so evasive, you'd think he committed a crime. Why on earth would he refuse to tell us that Tommy hired him?"

Leslie shrugged. "I wish I could answer that, but I have no clue. Myeko, this was for six hundred dollars. When I saw it last evening while I was preparing the deposit, I thought it might be best to set it aside, because it made no sense for Toki to write a $600 check just for an hour of my time. After all, advice is free, isn't it?" The girls chuckled. "So, like I said, I'll drop by tomorrow around lunchtime and give you the money."

"Okay, thanks, Leslie," Myeko said with a sigh. "It still isn't the full amount he owes. When Mr. Roarke drew up the divorce papers, he put in a proviso that Toki had to send a thousand a month to make sure the kids were adequately cared for." She paused a moment, glanced at Reiko and Camille, and smiled sheepishly. "Listen, you two, thanks for coming, but is it okay if I talk with Leslie alone?"

"No problem," Camille said easily. "I'm glad I could at least tell you about Toki's job. Come on, Reiko, let's hit for home." Reiko nodded; both girls said goodbye and departed.

Myeko got to her feet and heaved a deep sigh. "Would you walk to my house with me, Leslie, if you can get away?" she asked. "My mother's staying with Alexander and Noelle and I promised her I'd be back before sunset."

Leslie smiled. "Let me just write Father a quick note." She scribbled a few lines on a notepad, and a moment later accompanied Myeko out and along a shortcut path that would take them to the small Asian settlement where Camille and Myeko had grown up and still lived. "How're the kids these days?"

"Lively," Myeko remarked. "I don't know where they get the energy. Leslie…what exactly did Toki say to you, anyway?"

Uncomfortably Leslie stalled. "About what?"

"Anything," Myeko said. She stopped and faced Leslie head-on. "If you think you're going to upset me, don't worry about it. I've always known he had a crush on you, and I've also always known that you could barely stand him. Whatever problems Toki has that might be related to his feelings for you, they aren't your fault, and I'm fully aware of that. So unless you promised him your conversation with him was in confidence, I'd really like to know what he had to say."

Leslie regarded her friend with surprise and relief, then smiled and spontaneously hugged her. "You're one in a zillion, Myeko Sensei, and don't you ever forget it."

"I know," Myeko said demurely, and they both burst out laughing. "All kidding aside, really, Leslie, spill it. Maybe I'll learn something I didn't know."

"I'm not sure there's much to tell," Leslie said. "But if you were wondering why he was so against you working, you might be interested in knowing that he told me the females in his family never worked. His mother never did, Kayoko didn't, Reiko still doesn't even though she isn't married, and he seems to think Michiko's idle rich." Myeko snorted at that idea, and Leslie grinned agreement. "Precisely. In any case, I think it was a matter of pride. He wanted to be the sole breadwinner in the family, and it was a blow to him when you told him you wanted to get a job."

"Hmph," Myeko mumbled, shaking her head. "Well, so tell me what else he said."

Leslie outlined her chat with Toki as they walked, and the recap brought them all the way back to Myeko's cottage. "Amazing," Myeko commented with a sigh, starting up the front steps. "I never thought he…hey, hold it. What's that?"

Leslie followed her gaze. There was a blank envelope wedged between the door and the jamb. Myeko pulled it free and turned it over a couple of times before ripping it open and withdrawing a note folded around a check.

"Oh my God," Myeko said. "It's the child-support check Toki owes me for this month. The full thousand." She unfolded the note and read it aloud. _"Hi, Myeko. Sorry this is late again. I promise to try to do better from now on. I'm sorry for all the grief I've put you through. Best of luck with Mokuleia. Toki."_

The two women looked at each other for a moment, surprise on both their faces. "I guess something I said must have penetrated that thick skull of his after all," Leslie commented, half amused.

"Whatever it was, I'm glad you said it, then," Myeko remarked. "He's still missing out on a lot. But I guess that's his choice."

"It's a start at least. Maybe someday he'll make the choice to reconnect," Leslie mused, meeting Myeko's hopeful gaze and smiling at the same time she did.

**_THE END_**

* * *

_My next story is going to fall under the "whimsy" category. Wait till you see what happens to some college frat boys!_


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